Last night I went out with friends. Good friends. Friends who know me and know things about me that I don't need to clarify or repeat or explain. Friends who know that even when I'm laughing about a hilariously inappropriate joke or sharing a funny intimate detail of my life..... that my heart belongs to God. That I love Jesus. That I want more than anything to be a good mom and wife.
This morning it struck me that I intentionally spend the most time with people who already know me. Don't ask me HOW they already know me. In this life (military) you often forget how you even become friends, when you did, or how long its been. Time just flows differently. I realized though, that there are people I want to spend more time with and be better friends with outside of my comforting circle of friends, people who maybe don't know me as well - don't know my testimony - don't know about how Jesus loves me.... but I don't want to worry about what I say and do to make sure I don't give the wrong impression about who I am and what I stand for.
Read that last sentence again. Its a completely jacked up way of thinking.
I wannabe, NEED to be, more BOLD about what I believe. Who I love. What I am about in my heart and my life. I need to not be so content as to surround myself all the time with people that I don't stretch myself around. Yes, there is something to be said about the comfort of a good friend. But there is also much to be gained from pushing yourself to share and show who you are in a place where its not already known, where it doesn't come as easily.
Being bold is scary and uncomfortable. Growing can be painful. Even more painful though, is looking back at time and wondering "what if I had been bold enough to befriend that person, share who I really am and why with that person, get to know who they are and why...." and realizing that you had your chance to be bold and didn't take it.
He proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance!