Thursday, March 22, 2012

Family Pledge Day 4 Update

I seriously pick the hardest things for me to do sometimes!

This challenge has been easier for Jake BY FAR than it has been for me. He only has to adjust to a few hours being different in his day. I have to adjust to ALL DAY being different! I am feeling REALLY out of touch with everyone in some ways, but in other ways I am feeling more in touch with my own environment. And really, WHY do I need to be up to date on what everyone else does all the time?? I don't.

So far I have really liked checking in at night, catching up all at once, and then being done. Its just moments throughout the day when I'm bored or want to procrastinate or REALLY need/want to talk to someone else. Thank goodness for texting!

Since I'm not getting sidetracked first thing in the mornings now, I have actually kept to my morning routine - granted this is only day 4. But hey, progress is progress! I'm also getting up earlier like I enjoy doing. And sleeping in is anywhere from 7 to 7:30 which still leaves us an OKAY-ISH amount of time to get ready without running around like crazies. I did go out last night though with some friends and didn't get home until 11:30.... which totally made my morning suck and I'm dragging today - but still on schedule.

If you follow me on Facebook you may have noticed an increase in picture posts. haha! I did disable FB checking from my phone, but I still text pics throughout the day and random updates via text too.... I just can't check them until our agreed upon time at night. This might seem like cheating but technically I'm not getting ON Facebook. ;o) I'm also doing that because I know a couple of Grandparents and Aunts who like to keep on our/my day. Plus its fun to get on at night and see chatter y'all leave me! I may be a homebody but I am definitely a person that likes to stay connected in some way, shape, or form.

I still have some kinks to work out in my daily routine - some things I have been WANTING to accomplish all week but haven't been able to nail down. Like laundry. HOLY SMOKES - if you could SEE my clean laundry piles you would probably run for the hills. Its ridiculous. That is my goal today. After my workout (at 9am) of course. ;o)

Saturday, March 17, 2012


I wannabe PURPOSEFUL in my life and with my family and my home.

Last month I wrote a post about my TIME. I had approached Jake about it right before we left for Oregon but because of the chaos that the last minute trip brought us, it got put on the back burner. Well tonight I brought it back out again.

Originally I had said I wasn't going to ask Jake to do this with me, AND I had said it would be a month long experiment. So, a few things have changed. Jake is doing it with me, and the initial part is 10 days.

We both agreed that we could direct our energies toward more purposeful things. We each have our vices that take us away from being purposeful. For him, its gaming. For me, its stupid Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE FACEBOOK. I love what it does for me - being home all day can be lonely and boring. Its very easy to get caught up in it though, especially for me. I tend to get very sidetracked very easily. Its also a great way for friends and family to keep up with our day to day lives. I love it for that. HOWEVER, each of our habits have replaced very important things. Instead of being "recreational" they have become habitual.

I have to admit too, that part of my motivation for this is because I am tired of being the primary caretaker of everything under this roof. That sounds terrible, but really, I am. I want to feel like we are on the same team, instead of feeling like I am the coach who ends up playing the game on my own. haha! I am a firm believer that if the mom stays home her job is first and foremost to take care of the kids. A husband who works outside the homes job is to go to work and do that job well. I think there is a middle ground where both have their primary jobs, and then they come together and evenly shoulder the rest. I need more discipline during the day when kids are at school (O is still home with me) and Jake and I need to work better as a team when he is home from work. We have gotten into a habit of keeping score and harboring resentments b/c the boundaries and rules aren't clear. As the boys get older, I really want to make sure we get better at this instead of just winging it. Also, my time as sole caretaker (the pre-school years) are just about over for the last one (Owen) and the other two are doing wonderful in the beginnings of their school age years. We need to transition into a new way of life.

After a nice talk tonight, we came up with a 10 day pledge. We both signed it and dated it. I will place it in an area where we will both see it everyday so we can be reminded of it. After 10 days, we will sit down and talk about the pros and cons of it, and how we want to proceed. Here is what we both came up with and agreed on together.... which felt nice since I didn't come up with on my own and make him sign it. haha!

10 Day Family Pledge - starting Monday March 19th, 2012

1. We pledge to only get on our Games or Facebook (or other internet social network) only after the boys have been in bed for one hour at night. (this is so we can make sure we have an hour set aside to touch base with each other and together finish up the days tasks)

2. We pledge to use our time to serve each other, our family, and our home.

3. We pledge to go to bed by 11:30 every night. We are doing this for our overall health and well being. Friday and Saturday nights are exempt.

4. Saturdays and Sundays are free days after 12pm.

The purpose for this is the spend our time more wisely and learn to serve each other and our family. By doing this we hope to create a more calm and loving atmosphere in our home and establish a better family routine. We will re-evaluate after 10 days.

So, there it is. And seriously, the thought of it already makes me nervous. I suspect there will be some tension and frustration the first few days. For me, it means a lot of social sacrifice. BUT, when I compare it to what I will be gaining, it will be worth it in the end. I also need to develop more discipline during my days, so this will be good for me. For Jake, it means sacrificing his after work hours to be more dedicated to his family and his home. Not that he isn't dedicated, he just needs to be more purposeful about it. As do I. We both agree that we have our priorities backward. Its SO EASY to slip into that. And we are finally at a place where we both want to turn that around. I am so glad he is on board with it, and I am excited to see where we are after 10 days!


Holy Smokes! Where has the time gone?!

We left off last month right before we headed home to go to Jakes Grandmas funeral.

WOW, has a lot happened since then. Lots and lots. So much that there is no possible way I could quickly get it all in here..... it would be way too long. So here are the highlights:

Trip home went well. It was a quickie, but it was nice to squeeze it in, especially since we weren't going to go home this year at all. The bummer is that the boys missed 2 weeks of school, but they were very understanding about that. Jake also had to miss his test for Tech, but they rescheduled that for him. In fact, he just took it this past week. Hoping this is the one!

We had a great time at home visiting with family and we were really glad we got to be with all of them during that special time of saying goodbye. Jake spent a lot of time with his parents and his Grandpa, which was really good for him I think. Jakes brother and his family came down for the funeral too and that was a great time spent with them. Its nice when the boys get to see their cousins, even if it is only once a year. Can't wait for the day when its more!

Jake stayed at his parents house while we were there so he could make the most of our short time. I stayed at my moms with the boys so I could help out with my nieces and be able to see my mom when she was home since she had to work while we were there. During the days I ran around visiting with old friends I hadn't seen in a long time, some of them I hadn't seen in a couple years or more. That was so awesome for me to spend some quality time with so many people!

On our way back to North Dakota we stayed with some great friends in Spokane for a couple of nights and kinda got to take a break after our longest day of traveling. Its nice to break up the trip, especially when you stay with friends who feel like family and at a house that feels like a second home. It was a great way to end our trip.

Boys went back into the school routine quite nicely, and I have to say, we were all craving some of our routine back! However, this time change last week completely wrecked us all! Its been a rough week!

Jake tested for Tech and we find out in a couple of months if he made it or not. We are REALLY HOPING HE DID b/c we want to move off base within the next year we are thinking. That would make it a lot easier for sure!

Minot weather has been AMAZING too, and we are seriously looking forward to our full summer here! Lots of outdoor plans and camping!

So, thats a quick recap of what is going on here. Obviously a lot of the day to day is left out - mostly b/c this isn't a day to day lifestyle blog. I did though want to try to fill in the huge gap.

Now, back to confessions! And boy is the next one a big one! ;o)