Thursday, February 9, 2012


I wannabe a wife that helps her husband grieve.... even if it means taking a last minute unplanned trip halfway across the country in the middle of winter with our three boys and one of our dogs.

Jakes Grandma Charmaine passed away on Wednesday, February 8, 2012. My very closed up husband needs to grieve properly... and he can't do that being nearly 1500 miles away from family. In the almost 11 years we have been married, four family members from his side of the family have died. We have not been able to go to even ONE funeral. Or memorial. Or even be with our families during those times. He has never grieved properly because our life hasn't allowed him to.

So, now is the time.

I think the affects of our life are starting to wear on my tough fronted man. He recognizes the need to go home, be with our family, at any cost right now. We talked about how we have felt that this is the year we would start losing the Grands that we are closest to.... and it has now happened for him. We both agree that no matter what, we will do whatever we can to go home when those times come. We don't go home just for the loved ones gone, we go home to be around people we love. For them. For us.

I think its important. Important to allow yourself to experience the emotions that come with grieving.... otherwise you end up cold and calloused and closed off. In this military life, its so easy to go that route. So so easy. Its full of loss.... loss of home, friends, lives, spouses, comforts, family.

Its also full of understanding at times like these. I am so appreciative that Jake was given today off to figure out the details with his family. I so appreciate that taking Leave was a simple process, because sometimes it can be a nightmare. And I WILL BE even more grateful if they are able to move his Tech test date back since he would have to test as soon as we got back from an emotional and stressful trip. Either way, I appreciate that they are trying.

So, even though my stress level is at an all time high right now as I scramble to get our family of 5 prepared at the last minute.... and seriously, I was U-G-L-Y with everyone tonight.... even though its more work on my end, I wannabe able to look back and know I supported him and know that he won't look back with regret because things were difficult.

With that said, no posts until I get back.... I will be busy taking full advantage of a quickie trip home. Lots of family to see and love on, and lots of coffee dates to squeeze in with friends! A very bittersweet trip indeed.

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